The Friendships we have in our lives are like an onion. Which layer someone exists in is of course determined by their importance to you, but more so your importance to them.
The past few days I’ve especially been noticing, who I prioritize… and who prioritizes me. I’ve also noticed that the key element in whether a person is an “inner core” or not is also determined by their friendship work ethic.
What’s that? Well how one functions in their day to day relationships really… I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way… but I think there’s a “my way” and a “not my way” for all of us. The people whose ways mimic “my way” are inner core, while the people whose don’t are slightly further out. They’re still good friends… but maybe sit on the second or third layer rather than smack dab in the middle.
I think we are closest to the people who interact with their world similar to how we interact with ours. I realize, we might call some subset of people our best friends because of one reason or another… but sometimes speak to someone completely out of that circle more intimately. Isn’t that weird?
I think what it really comes down to is reliability transparency, and follow through. If I feel like I can trust someone with my time, and they always follow through by either telling me “yes I can do it”, “honestly no I can’t do it” or “I can’t now but here’s the potential timeline” … those are the people that sit at my core. Also the people who put in as much effort as I do.
From the core we work our way out, best friends who we may not always have time for (or vice versa), good friends who are always there but not someone frequently involved, all the way out to acquaintances. I guess the outer most layer the flakey one is just strangers or people we don’t care about 😅
Either way – friendships and their degree of closeness are like onions. And upon re-evaluation I was surprised to realize that some people hold a lot more importance to me than I realized ❤️
From a mind that spends a lot of time thinking... 
I have the exact opposite view 😬 I don’t want my friends to see my way…I mean they can have theirs and I will meet them mid way. Maybe coz I also have some close friends where we don’t reply to each other for days but I also know they would prioritize me if it comes to that. I mean they may be on the outer layer of the onion for days but it still remains as intimate as it was. 😊
Actually I think you’re saying the same thing! To clarify, Just cause someone isn’t in the core at a given moment doesn’t mean they’re not close, they could be our best friend just that we’re busy with our own lives to constantly talk every single day… On the contrary someone could be just a good friend but still be in our core for whatever duration of time.
Just because someone isn’t in the core doesn’t take away the potential to “pick up right where we left off”
I also don’t think frequency of interaction determines core. I think a persons perception of frequency does! One person may think it’s normal while another person may not – but have no effect on the relationship