Month: December 2019

I can’t speak for all brides because a lot of them do go from their parent’s home to their husband’s directly – so yes they do have a reason to get all sentimental. And let’s not forget arranged marriages, which can be a little nerve wracking for the bride.

But the funny thing is, I cried too. And I couldn’t understand why.

I’ve lived away from home for the past 11 years. 11 years. Been there, done that. I basically got married for the legality of it all, but literally nothing changed. Not my living situation, not my job, not my name. Nothing. If anything I moved even closer to my parents home.

So naturally, I couldn’t figure out why I was crying, and being the cancerian I am – I had to sit and overthink about it.

I came to the conclusion it was all psychological. I wasn’t physically leaving my parents, but mentally/emotionally it meant I had to leave being a carefree child behind – and had to do “big people stuff”. Not just bills and rent, but like – actually think about taking on the responsibility of kids, being more patient, and cooking every meal (that was light humor in case you missed it).

Secondly, it meant my independence was legally gone. Yes it’s supposed to feel wonderful to be with this one man (and it does feel wonderful cause he’s my best friend) but there’s still a realization. Legally understanding that I’m bound to this man and there’s no going back – even if he were ever to wrong me, there is only going forward. Again this is funny cause we’ve been together for years and he’s awesome… so in the real time plane, nothing has changed… it’s all psychological.

Lastly – it was a major identity crisis. I’m Sayli Natu, always have been, and always will be. When I look in the mirror that’s who I see. How does one suddenly start responding to another name? How is it that the name I identify with, affiliated with the man who made me who I am today over the past 30 years, is to be scrapped for the name of a man who just met me? Perhaps every girl goes through this. I think if I ever changed my name, it would purely be for love, or for kids – but my identity – I’d have to build a new one affiliated with that name… and in today’s day and age – I’m too old to do that now. I’d rather grow my current one to include the “new” one.

Anyhow this last point is also psychological because at this time I’m not changing my name, and the hubs doesn’t necessarily want me to either. But that everyone keeps talking about me no longer being a Natu is little tough. Actually no – it’s bittersweet. It’s nice to be accepted wholeheartedly (sweet) and bitter in respect to identity.

Here’s a fun fact – every time I started crying I looked at Sagar’s smiling face – and the tears disappeared. That’s the degree of comfort and assurance I get from him.

Anyhow, now that I have dissected my feelings – I suppose I can put them to the side since nothing has actually changed. I can go on my merry way, back to the daily grind – and yes, I am enjoying my married life thanks to my best friend (hubs).

❤️

With all due respect to people individual beliefs – please keep following your customs, but I felt the need to speak up before you impose your views on others without having a strong supporting argument or proof.

Yep. I’m going to openly talk about periods in a public forum where 50% of my readers are male.

If you’re immature, or backwards… please close this page now as you will not be able to handle the topic and will be greatly embarrassed that you have subjected your eyes to reading about periods. You will also likely judge me for being shameless… so before getting into that… please do not read further.

Today I briefly want to discuss periods and our take on it in the Hindu culture.

Growing up I was often told I couldn’t pray, or participate in any God related activities during my period – because “That’s what it says in our religion” I used to follow them and feel ashamed of my cycle because of it. Unfortunately, I still am told to abide by such rules today. I abide by them out of respect for others. But in some cases… it’s impossible to abide by these baseless rules.

Fortunately, now that I’m grown up, and have actually taken the time to STUDY my religion – I’d like to ask “Where?”.

Where does it say we are “impure” and “‘not allowed” to do things during menstruation?

Yes it’s uncomfortable and I prefer to do nothing during my period (pray, eat, work, talk to other humans) but no I’m not restricted religiously from doing anything.

Not a single Veda, not the Gita, no scripture says anything about being impure during periods… and if one took the time to actually study real Hinduism instead of blindly following a corrupted version of Hinduism that is man made… he or she would know the vedas actually discourage discriminating against a woman for her bodily functions.

So where did all of this begin? Women in ancient culture used to pray/visit the temple on a daily basis. However, during the monthly cycle – often times women feel weak, sick, and are constantly cramping. Therefore, women were told that God would be understanding if they took those days off from praying due to their hardship. This was a way to give women a break during an uncomfortable period. This was NOT an indication that God found women impure. I’d argue that periods are in fact the most pure thing – as they are what ensure that our human race will continue (and hence Gods work for religious folks). When periods stop… so do reproductive capabilities. Basically, if I get my period it’s a problem, and if I don’t get my period it’s ALSO a problem. What’s up with that?! God is literally the being that made it so. Why would he shame his own creation??

However, over time, as everything else with Hinduism… the lack of education and the lack of ability to think has corrupted people’s understanding of this originally amazingly open minded religion. Additionally, when someone tries to apply logic and think about why something is the way it is… elders immediately shame their kids for being blasphemous under the name of God. Incapable of thinking, we basically end up with the blind leading the blind, and no one thinking or applying logic. Telling a woman she cannot pray while having a period to me is equivalent to questioning God’s creation of the menstrual cycle. Is that not more blasphemous?!

So ok fine, we don’t want to think for ourselves right? How about picking up one of the Vedas… (or all 4, or 5 for those of you who believe in the extra one) and read it for yourself. Take a class. Someone sat down hundreds and thousands of years ago and did the thinking for you! Instead of subjecting some man made myths on others… start studying the original source. Yes there are stories and myths that may imply one thing or another but those are myths… again, not the original sources.

Start studying. Start thinking. Start applying logic. Start understanding the history behind an action.

Stop following a corrupted version of Hinduism.

50% of the worlds population bleeds. Deal with it.