Ever been in an interaction with another human where it feels like you’re the only one making an effort? Doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship… I mean literally any relationship.
Ok honestly of course you have, everyone has… though either you’re the do-er or the non-do-er.
Basically, it sucks. That feeling, where you feel like you’re always the one making an effort, initiating things, and the other person just goes along with it for the sake of doing so, but never initiated themselves. It makes you wonder what would happen if you stopped. Would they notice and start initiating? Or would any bit of interaction between you two just cease to exist?
For me, pretty much every time I’ve tested this out, I’ve noticed that interactions completely ceased to exist. It made me realize that I don’t mean as much, or that specific action with a given person meant much more to me than it did to him or her. Be it family. Be it friends. Be it relationships. Be it acquaintances.
I guess it is what it is but it isn’t a good feeling. It’s a worse feeling when you give up and decide to then have that interaction with someone else… only to end up as the “bad guy” for finding an alternative.
3 thoughts on “A one sided effort”
Very well written. I completely agree that, the ‘feeling’ sucks ! Yet, I am not sure as what is better : to continue to take one sided efforts because at least that keeps the friendship or any relationship moving or that sad feeling after you stop initiating the conversations and the friendship ends.
Absolutely agree… such a confusing place to be in!
So true. And yes, the reality is – we are right. Our guts are right. The relationships stop. Things cease. But then out of that sometimes true friendships emerge. True connections are those that stand the test of time. Every connection in my belief is 1:1 it only moves in one direction – forward. And sometimes for it to move forward maybe it needs to cease a little. Very well expressed Sayli. Keep writing.