Superficial world

All around me are familiar faces, worn out places… worn out faces… [-Tears for Fears]

What a superficial world this is. Ironically, filled with the deepest emotions. Deepest feelings in each and every one of us… and yet…

Tears are filling up their glasses… No expression. No expression.

We each exist. We each feel. We all desire. Acceptance. Love. Happiness. And yet most are incapable of giving it. We are judgmental. We are filled with internal conflict and surrounded by external conflict. We never know when the other shoe is going to drop. We never know when we ourselves are going to drop the other shoe.

So few people on this planet, are actually in touch with their inner emotions and capable of expression. So few people have the ability to take a moment to feel. Too many people stuck in cycles.

Too many people… running in circles in this very very…

I sit back and think about all the people who have ever meant anything to me. Close friends. Loves. Family. How is it possible, I wonder, to care for anyone so deeply at any point in our lives to then at another point, even in the absence of conflict, just think nothing of them?

The past few days I’ve been ruminating on the present day absence of previously close friendships that seemingly ceased without any rhyme or reason. No negativity, just a simple non-existence. It’s understandable after all when a really bad reason ends an interaction… but in these situations? Why were those journeys together in life limited? How is it that such frequently colorful conversations today are non-existent or dry at best? Are there really no words to exchange besides superficial hellos and a handful of emojis? Are we really not capable of withstanding differing views? Are we really not capable of valuing a person beyond their fulfillment of our own needs.

Am I the only person on this planet who thinks about these things from time to time?

Am I the only person who sits here missing the people I valued so deeply in my life. In return what even were our interactions? Did they mean anything. Were they just fluff.

Does no one actually know me? Do they look right through me [my soul]?

Time and time again I have noticed how a large chunk of the world is actually incapable of feeling and thinking so deeply about things. They experience sadness, and anger, and happiness, and other emotions but these emotions are experienced so fleetingly. There is no anticipation and there is no recall. There is no understanding or empathizing with others. Just the self.

How I wish I was such a person too. But alas, I fall in the minority. Frequently thinking about places, times, people. Wondering if they remember me too. Knowing they likely don’t. Wondering what would have made things different. I deeply miss those missing from my life today despite knowing I’m not even a thought in return.

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take

It’s a very very….

Mad World.

It’s one of my most favorite songs by the way. I wish there were more verses. Someone should write more verses.