The Importance of Getting OUT.
I read the above meme the other day. I felt like it especially addresses many Asian cultures. And so I wanted to address it.
That’s right. I literally see it so much around me. As I grow up more and more cases spring up. Maybe they were always there, but I was too young to know.
Today I have so many people approaching me about “what to do” (even though I don’t have kids I’d my own) but I have to say… Parents – show love. And minimize the negative interactions in front of your children or grandchildren. Your interaction and unhappiness shapes your child’s idea of a relationship. It teaches kids that marriage is a horrible place to be. And it really isn’t! It shouldn’t be! You think your kids don’t see it but they are professionals at picking up vibes.
If you have a son it teaches him either how to negatively treat his partner or how to be ok with being abused.
If you have a daughter, it teaches her either how to negatively abuse her partner OR how to be ok with being abused.
You don’t want that for your kids do you? No? Ok so if your relationship is so toxic beyond repair… get out. Because this isn’t about you anymore it’s about your child. You’re hurting them more than helping them. This is something our culture will put me on blast for encouraging but it’s true. We have on avg 75-100 years on this planet. That’s a long time to suffocate… and one limited life to waste.
Is your relationship fixable? (You’ll know the difference deep down inside – as to whether it’s fixable or not). Try every method to see if something wrong can be fixed, maybe love still exists but needs a therapist to work it out…
That’s why I never could stay in an environment that was toxic… whether that’s romantic or blood, doesn’t matter. Small fights – learn to patch them up…. but if you’re in a manipulative or abusive or toxic situation…. You have to break the cycle somewhere.
It’s hard. At first it’s exceptionally hard but believe me when I say that hard phase lasts maybe 1-2 years. Then it blows over. 1-2 years of difficulty is nothing in the face of 50 years of suffocation.
If I could do it. You can too. Please, for the sake of future generations.
Break the cycle.
Either get a therapist. Or get out.