Tag: mental health

Why do they come? But then why do they go?

Posted on by Sayli Natu

In life we meet so many people. Some we befriend. Some remain strangers. Some become acquaintances who you don’t think of everyday but once in a blue moon when you cross paths you exchange a formal hello. Some people become enemies, folks from the get go you know are bad for you. Each of these people play a very distinct role in our lives, whether that role is to be remembered and learned from, or disregarded and forgotten, 99% of folks fall within a very straightforward set of rules and therefore the brain is able to make sense of why they came (and in some situations… went), and what role they play. We always know why they’re there, and for the ones we haven’t figured out yet we keep telling ourselves “there must be a reason why you’re here!”.

Then come the 1%. The confusing lot. The ones whose vibes connected with yours before they became any part of your life. The ones you can never erase from your mind after they make their exit… no matter how many years go by. The intensity of their frequency is high. They come into our lives strong like a whirlwind sweeping us off our feet. They’re exciting, they give us hope. They’re addicting. Words aren’t needed because unspoken cues say everything there is to say. Your body responds to their presence. What is this connection? Why does this connection exist?? No matter how much you try to push them out of your mind you can’t because your body quickly becomes addicted to their involvement in your life. And yet… why? Especially when there is no romantic future there. Or rather, perhaps there is a potential but it’s cancelled because of the rules we have set for ourselves. Or perhaps there really is no potential because we can’t control our hearts. But nevertheless, there is a connection, an inexplicable pull from another lifetime perhaps.

And then as abruptly as they swept into our lives, they go. Unable to deal with the intensity of the moments, or unable to accept the lack of potential, they leave never to be heard from again. Never to be seen again. And yet, they never leave your mind. Distract yourself as much as you try, but something or another from time to time will always trigger a memory of your encounters. 5 years later. 10 years later. I guess a lifetime later… you’ll always remember with as much intensity of feeling, and an equal amount of sorrow. Years later when they mean nothing anymore to your heart, the thought of them still brings about a heaviness on our chests and tears to our eyes.

And we wonder. Why did they come into our lives if all they were going to do eventually was leave. No mark left, no significant role played. What was the point of meeting them if the only outcome was going to be the pain of their departure. We keep thinking there would be something to it, but there isn’t.

Only silence.

And we wonder why such a friendship couldn’t thrive. Tainted by what emotions, did it have an expiration date? Especially when everyone knows friendships carry more love than romance ever could. And who will understand the burden of carrying such a love, knowing it’s not the kind of love desired in return, and along with it the pain of losing such a love…

With that I end with some lines I came across on social media that someone wrote to a Bollywood song that triggered a memory of someone’s memory of me in their now complete non-existence. The lines are a response to the original song, and as beautiful as they are, the pain they induced is very real thanks to the memories that flooded the gates behind which they were locked.

Najdikiya tu… samjha na yaara… gham to yahi hai… gham toh yahi hai
hai jo abhi ye… rishta hamara… pyar se badhkar mere liye hai
pyar hai junoon, dosti sakoon, hai ye keheti rahi
tune kyun na suna

Channa mereya mereya channa mereya mereya…

Addendum. And then I came up with my own lyrics in a language I don’t even speak (Hindi). Or rather… they came to me!

Agar hum kabhi… Milte nahi to
dard na hota Ye dard na hota

Yaadein teri, hoti nahi to
Dukh bhi na hota, ye dukh bhi na hota

Rehete ajanabee to ye… udasi nahi hoti
Teri kami se dil tutata nahi

Channa mereya mereya…

Hey, Stranger!

Posted on by Sayli Natu

Have you ever just been living your normal life, with the mundane daily grind, when suddenly a stranger bursts into your life like a whirlwind, bringing with them both old familiarity and new perspectives?! Except in this case, I’m not sure who the stranger is… who the whirlwind is!

For those of you who have been following, my last post spoke of such a stranger. I casually wondered if we’d ever connect and finish a conversation we started during a very brief encounter. I didn’t know his name. I didn’t know anything about him. Perhaps we’d never finish our conversation. Perhaps we would never meet again. Our vastly different lives, careers, locations, age gap, stages of life… our lives truly had no reason to intertwine.

But they did. Twice! And why? Just to be strangers?! Seems odd doesn’t it? Why would the universe make two people keep bumping into each other until their worlds collide? Do we have Karmic Debts to pay one another? Perhaps he was my worst enemy in a past life! Or do we simply have a task to complete together that was left in complete in another life? Friends? Is it just destiny? Or is it all just a big fat coincidence to be forgotten or pursued based on whatever we feel like doing.

Me being me, I can never resist connecting with people. Girls, Guys, Young, Old… if there is a magnet there, I can feel it. I especially cannot resist people who shower me with a sense of familiarity. For those that don’t know, I can sense vibes strongly. I can read a room, read a person’s vibes immediately. I’m almost never wrong so long as a person is just being themselves. So when I read a vibe of familiarity so strongly as I did with this ‘stranger’, I just knew I had to find him. We have some role to play in each other’s lives that only time will tell.

For those who have been following and asking me about what happened next – I searched for the young man with zero expectations of finding him. But the internet is a vast place and will power is a strong force.

The exciting news is that I did find him after all, though again fully expecting him to ghost me or just be completely disinterested in having a conversation. What turned out to be more exciting is that he was thrilled by the contact and to be able to finish our conversation!

A month later, I can’t exactly call him stranger any longer. He doesn’t know it but I truly learn so much from him whenever we interact! Though so much younger than me, I constantly find myself shocked by his maturity and the fact that it far surpasses the maturity level of folks in my own “Millennial” generation and the generations that preceded mine. His thought processes and how he handles conflicts in his own life has given me such a different perspective of the Gen-Z generation. There are times (sometimes) find myself quite fearful of not being able to keep up or handle some behavioral characteristics that GenZs are stereotyped for, but he has never once (yet) displayed those behavioral patterns. Perhaps one day we will come to head between our millennial vs genz ideologies, but even then the interaction and understanding seems to be so forgiving that I can only hope that I will be privileged enough to continue learning from him for a lifetime.

Truly, cheers to perspectives, cheers to learning, and cheers to the start of a very interesting interaction!

“Hey Stranger”

😊