Just Once

Just once, I wish to come across a human who understood the importance of permanence. Of not taking another for granted. Of valuing another. Of not just acquainting themselves with another for the temporary hit or the benefits.

Just once I wish to come across a human who finds the presence of a real person more interesting than the screen of a phone or a television.

Just once I wish to come across a human who means what they say. Who says what they feel. Who means it when they say that the other shoe won’t drop. That they’ll be here forever, genuinely interested, because they like you for who you are and enjoy your company. Who doesn’t plaster on a fake seemingly neurotic smile as they count down the minutes in your presence. Time should feel short, shouldn’t it, if we are truly having a good time? Instead it feels so orchestrated. Does permanence mean there has to be the presence of a romantic interest? Can there not just be two souls that enjoy one another’s company. Who understand love in a more pure form than the love that is associated with needs. Sometimes, though sadly not every, a mother comes closest to feeling that type of love for her child. But all other love has become so conditional it’s fake.

Perhaps others are lucky enough to have come across such people, but I’m not sure if they’ve come across such people or if most folks are just busy living superficial lives that they don’t realize how surface level their interactions are. I certainly haven’t met anyone yet with the depth I speak of. Everything feels so conditional… so temporary. The world has become so dependent on a drugged like state. Looking for the highs of hits and then checking out immediately because in place of permanence is a temporary high followed by a rapid boredom. Where are the interactions that feel real… where one doesn’t have to feel like they have to keep their guard up constantly? Instead we sit here, just waiting for a deception of sorts to come. Because we know it inadvertently will. Because there is always a catch.

What sucks most in an interaction is knowing that if I stop, it all stops. That no one would try for me, as I would try for them.

And yet why is it like that?

Why is it that the people who bare their hearts and beings openly are the ones to be surrounded by the most disinterested of folk? What kind of karmic punishment is it to be exiled by perhaps the supernatural onto this planet to live such a life of feeling and knowing the depths of things and yet being surrounded by such a superficial, shallow, society? And yet we know… in a sea of 8 billion we cannot be alone.

And yet those plagued with unnatural emotional depths and correlating abilities are cursed to roam the planet… encountering many… but never encountering another like themselves.